sb4444

Fillums

2011-01-09T13:25:00.002+01:00

Regular readers of this blog will have no doubt noticed that I haven't put anything on for several years.

But I have been waving a fillum camera about here

Priddy Festival

2010-07-12T12:10:00.017+01:00

Priddy is an out of the way village high up in the Mendip Hills. Every year they have a folk festival. This year I was able to attend. Here's some snaps -

Priddy church

Some stone figures on the church.

Nice flowers in the church porch.

The Mendips have a record of human history dating back half a million years. The landscape is full of ancient barrows and earthworks.

I went for a walk down Nine Barrows Lane.

This tree was at the top of the lane. It's an ash that's been damaged but has grown again.
There are lots of ash trees along the way.

The lane is deeply sunken and is thought to be very old. Probably the lane used by the barrow makers and many others before.

You can get good photos of vegetation next to the sky.

Some barrows against the skyline.

I saw Grimspound Border morris. Wild men from Dartmoor.
Click here to see them dance.

The dance seems to involve them hitting each other with clubs quite a bit.
The clubs are ash staves.

Lichen on the wall

2010-03-07T21:18:00.007+01:00

Lichen on the wall in the spring sunshine.
Good, innit.
Click on 'em for best results.

I took all these photos without using any special safety equipment;
I prefer it like that - you can get much closer to your subject.

Mystery Cat

2010-02-09T19:01:00.004+01:00

Mystery Cat, O Mystery Cat
How in the World did you come to be That?

Daft as a Molecule, Black as a Bat
That's What they Say about Mystery Cat

More manhole covers

2010-02-04T10:26:00.007+01:00

Hi folks,

Sorry it's been so long since I posted anything on here. I've been "resting", trying to find my inspiration and motivation again.

And I'm happy to say that it's paid off ... just take a look at these little beauties!

I'm hoping to post more items in the near future, or a day or two afterwards.

Stapleton Road November morning

2009-12-01T20:45:00.014+01:00

There are some old buildings in Stapleton Road.

Armoury Square is an unusual place.

As well as the Armoury Tavern pub on the corner, there is Armoury Square itself. It isn't really a square, just a short road. At the bottom of the road are these two houses with a bust of someone in between.

What's the story with this, I wonder?

I've also heard that there is an ancient standing stone in one of the back gardens here.

This picture (circa 1960s judging by the Ford Zodiac) shows the two houses but with a different figure in the alcove. It looks like a cricketer with a raised bat. Famous cricketer Dr W.G. Grace had a surgery somewhere near here.

Click on this picture for link to Flickr site about Easton

Colourful fruit and veg.

This church is still in use.

St Jude's church. No longer a church but used for something.

PS Just found out a bit more here

"Built and established during the period 1774 -1820. The Armoury from which the Square takes it's name was the base for Militia regiments as well as Bristol's own Arsenal. It's outline plan is partly preserved by the early to mid Victorian Square, but little is known of it's original appearance. Ashmead's Bristol Map of 1828 suggests it to be a large and long Barrack Block, centrally placed, with symmetrically planned ancillary buildings. By ca. 1855 it becomes Armoury Place. In 1887 Colston Villas was built. Rebuilt in 1976 it was soon noticed that the building at the North end of the Square had an early 18th century bust of Edward Colston, Bristol slave trader. It was replaced by a replica and the original placed within Bristol City Museum. In 1881, Mr Packer, who was an ex-employee of Frys, founded his company at 46 Armoury Square. Originally employed three people who were each paid 2/6d (12.5p) a week. Packer's is now LEAF UK, Greenbank. "

So the bust is of Edward Colston.

I'm going back to selling harmoniums

2009-11-16T01:00:00.002+01:00

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harmonium

History

The harmonium was invented in Paris in 1842 by Alexandre Debain, though there was concurrent development of similar instruments. Christian Gottlieb Kratzenstein (1723-1795), Professor of Physiology at Copenhagen, was credited with the first free reed to be made in the western world after winning the annual prize in 1780 from the Imperial Academy of St.Petersburg. [1]

Harmoniums reached the height of their popularity in the West in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. They were especially popular in small churches and chapels where a pipe organ would be too large or too expensive. Harmoniums generally weigh less than similarly-sized pianos and are not as easily damaged in transport, thus they were also popular throughout the colonies of the European powers in this period- not only because it was easier to ship the instrument out to where it was needed, but it was also easier to transport overland in areas where good-quality roads and railways may have been non-existent. An added attraction of the harmonium in tropical regions was that the instrument held its tune regardless of heat and humidity, unlike the piano. This 'export' market was sufficiently lucrative for manufacturers to produce harmoniums with cases impregnated with chemicals to prevent woodworm and other damaging organisms found in the tropics.

At the peak of the instruments' popularity around 1900, a wide variety of styles of harmoniums were being produced. These ranged from simple models with plain cases and only 4 or 5 stops (if any at all), up to large instruments with ornate cases, up to a dozen stops and other mechanisms such as couplers. Expensive harmoniums were often built to resemble pipe organs, with ranks of fake pipes attached to the top of the instrument. Small numbers of harmoniums were built with two manuals (keyboards). Some were even built with pedal keyboards, which required the use of an assistant to run the bellows or, for some of the later models, an electrical pump. These larger instruments were mainly intended for home use, such as allowing organists to practise on an instrument on the scale of a pipe organ, but without the physical size or volume of such an instrument. For missionaries, chaplains in the armed forces, travelling evangelists, and the like, reed organs that folded up into a container the size of a very large suitcase or small trunk were made; these had a short keyboard and few stops, but they were more than adequate for keeping hymn-singers more-or-less on pitch.

The invention of the electronic organ in the mid-1930s spelt the end of the harmonium's success (although its popularity as a household instrument declined in the 1920s as musical tastes changed). The Hammond organ could imitate the tonal quality and range of a pipe organ whilst retaining the compact dimensions and cost-effectiveness of the harmonium whilst reducing maintenance needs and allowing a greater number of stops and other features. By this time harmoniums had reached high levels of mechanical complexity, not only through the need to provide instruments with a greater tonal range, but (especially in North America) due to patent laws. It was common for manufacturers to patent the action mechanism used on their instruments, thus requiring any new manufacturer to develop their own version- as the number of manufacturers grew this led to some instruments having hugely complex arrays of levers, cranks, rods and shafts which made replacement with an electronic instrument even more attractive.

The last mass-producer of harmoniums in the West was the Estey company, which ceased manufacture in the mid-1950s. As the existing stock of instruments aged and spare parts became hard to find, more and more were either scrapped or sold. It was not uncommon for harmoniums to be 'modernised' by having electric blowers fitted, often very unsympathetically. The majority of harmoniums today are in the hands of enthusiasts.

A relatively modern example of the use of a harmonium can be found in The Beatles' songs such as "We Can Work It Out" and "Cry Baby Cry".

Easton Faces

2009-11-02T19:07:00.015+01:00

St Mark's Church, Easton

The church has a great nest of gargoyles on the top

They're a rum bunch, aren't they?

This is what Ben Tillett (born Easton 1860) said about St Mark's:

Those of my readers who have passed through Stapleton Road Station will perhaps remember that church on the right on their way to Wales from London. There is a square tower to the church, and on each corner of it there are creeping reptiles and gargoyles with menacing countenance, and a ferocious snarl on their ugly mouths. They were always a wonder and a terror to me. What were they doing there? I could not understand that some demented architect had borrowed the beastly shapes church of medieval lore, or that perverted brains had fashioned the horrible shapes in hate or fear. My only consolation was the thought that they were well fastened down.

Once, at a lesson given by a flighty-brained teacher, I asked her what the animals at the top of the church meant. The alarming news was instantly vouchedsafe that the beasts were to watch the four quarters of the earth against the devils and enemies of Christians, to pounce upon them, rend them, and thus they remained everlastingly on the watch. "Would they eat them up. teacher?" This timid interrogation proved startling, but a ready "Yes, and eat them up," came to her story-telling lips. And she added in reply to our almost tearful pleadings that the corner monsters' victims did not include little boys unless the little boys played truant.

These fatal words proved our undoing. Try as we could, and three of us solemnly vowed to dodge these corner devils for all times, on the Sunday following two of us broke the united front. Deserted by our frightened school-fellow we stayed outside the school chained to the spot: we were playing truant, challenging in our terror the nearest devil on our side of the road. We fixed our gaze on the worst and ugliest of the bad and ugly lot. We did not look at each other, for fear had petrified. We watched and watched for what appeared a long time, but there was no movement. Then some shadow must have cut across the back of the gargoyle. It seemed to us that it moved. Spellbound we watched, and two nervous little hands found each other, as my fellow-watcher's trembling fingers clutched mine. Then the figure seemed to squirm like a cat as though about to jump. We saw the twist of the body, the mouth snapped, the eyes blinked, and thereupon two screaming, howling boys ran madly away, gasping, white with fear of the nightmare devils, and finally falling down helpless and scared to death. That ended the beginning of my theological learning.

All Hallows Hall, All Hallows Road

This building also has some interesting figures.

Bristol Museum

2009-09-18T11:36:00.002+01:00

The Banksy exhibition is now
gone.
But traces still remain...

St Stephen's Church

2009-09-12T18:04:00.015+01:00

I climbed the tower of St Stephen's Church as part of Open Doors day.
It was built in the 1400's but there are bits they think are older dating back to the 13th century.

It was originally on the harbourside until that bit of the harbour was filled in. Part of its parish is the Bristol Channel including the islands of Steepholm and Flatholm.

The tower is nearly 15o feet high and you get there via a very worn stone spiral staircase. They've hung a rope down to hang on to.

At the top there are good views of the centre.

Cabot Tower

The turrets on the top of the church look like little churches themselves.

The one with the weather vane is more ornate.

The turrets have tensioning weights attached to them that are adjusted by a screw thread. Did they have these in the 15th century?

Another view of the tower.

Below is a detail of the tower.

At the side of the window there are these figures -
isn't he a cute little fella?

I discovered some interesting stone faces in that area that I'll post soon.

Round Manhole Covers - Greenbank

2009-09-10T15:29:00.011+01:00

on a sunny September day in 2009 A.D.

If manhole covers could talk, it would be a bit spooky.

Who put them there? What are they for?

No one knows.

Railings as Nature Intended

2009-08-27T11:50:00.003+01:00

Most railings we see today are in urban environments. This picture shows some railings in the wild.

It puts me in mind of Monarch of the Glen, a famous painting by Sir Edwin Landseer.

Portishead

2009-08-21T11:44:00.035+01:00

After the bitter railings-related disappointments of the last few weeks, I decided to treat myself to a walk in the country.
I took the bus out to Portishead, a small town situated about ten miles from Bristol on the coast.
The main street is level but behind it there is a steep hill where most of the people seem to live. From the top you get good views of the Bristol Channel and Wales. Halfway across the estuary lies Denny Island (above); a tiny place, but it marks the border between England and Wales.
Denny island. Denny island

Inland from Portishead is the marshy Gordano valley. The M5 runs through it, just after the Avonmouth Bridge heading south. Apart from that, it's a very peaceful place.

The old straight track. This footpath runs under the M5 to come out in Portbury.
The willow is the first to shed its leaves.

Teasels.

This is what people call cracked mud. At least some people do.

I chanced upon some farm buildings.

I couldn't see anybody around. Perhaps they were all hiding and watching me. They do that a lot in the country, I've seen it in films.

Over in the distance, these beasts roamed the earth.

Then to Portbury village - not to be confused with Portbury dock. A different place altogether. Portbury was an important place in Anglo-Saxon times. There aren't any remains from that era, but some buildings seem very old. For example, this priory below.

There is an old earthworks there, but it didn't seem accessible to the public.

And the manhole covers!! They have to be seen to be believed. Such variety!

This isn't all of them. Only highlights.

A Stanton Trojan 75

Anonymous circular covers.

Can't quite see the writing on this one.

I think the one above is made by Dudley of Exeter.

More random covers.

Below: A Stanton and Staveley Chieftain 600. Stanton and Staveley were two ironworks in Derbyshire.

A Stanton (what's happened to Staveley?)
Saracen 600

More random drains for your amusement.

Then there's St. Mary's Church, Portbury. Dating back to the 12th century.
Wikipedia

Finally, here's some lichen growing on the church

Railings - the video

2009-08-11T10:08:00.000+01:00

A video of some local railings.

Week 2. Still no luck

2009-08-09T21:22:00.002+01:00

I don't mind admitting I'm getting worried. Still no railing sightings. If this keeps up I'll end up looking really stupid.

However, sightings from around the country continue to pour in. A special mention must go to Mr. Howard Dewfeel of Wolverhampton who has recently died after spending a whopping forty-three days with his head stuck in some railings. That's the bad news; the good news is that he was being sponsored and has managed to raise an amazing £123:75p for the charity HeadRail that helps people with their heads stuck in railings.

Railing Awareness Fortnight - Day 2

2009-08-03T23:54:00.002+01:00

Well we're already into the second day of Railing Awareness Fortnight (RAF).
How's it going?

I went out this morning determined to look at some railings, but unfortunately I couldn't find any.

I'm not having much luck with finding things lately. At the weekend I tried to go to the Bristol Harbourside Festival but couldn't find that either. Why don't they give out better directions? I'm sure more people would go if they did.

Railings

2009-07-22T11:03:00.007+01:00

Can you imagine a world without railings? I can't and I've been trying really hard for days now.
Railings stop us from running into busy roads or falling from high places. They keep wild animals in zoos and stop people escaping from parks.
In short, modern life would be very different without our friends in the railing world.

But how many of us ever think about railings? Very few, I suspect.
That's why railings are often referred to as "Mother Nature's Hidden Miracle."
Well, now there's a chance to change all that.

Monday August 3rd 2009 is
RAILING OBSERVATION DAY

This is part of

RAILING AWARENESS FORTNIGHT
(AUGUST 2nd to AUGUST 15TH)
What we're asking you to do is to take a bit of time out from your busy schedule to sit and stare at some railings of your own choice. Even if you can only spare a few hours it will all help.
After you've finished staring, why not make a painting or write a poem about your experience?
Send your efforts to the usual address:
SB444,
The Internet,
LONDON
SW1 1AA

The winner will receive their own private set of railings.

Good Luck!

Railing fact #1: Railings were first invented by the ancient Egyptians to stop people climbing on the pyramids

Railing fact #2: In a recent poll amongst railing painters, 87.982% said their favourite colour was grey.

Railing fact #3:If you took all the railings in the world and placed them on top of each other, it would equal an area six times the size of Wales. Or, to put it another way, over 170,000 double-decker buses or a quarter of a million full-sized football pitches.

NOTE:The above fact is for illustration purposes only. Please don't put all the railings in the world on top of each other - it will only cause trouble.

Butterfly

2009-06-11T14:29:00.002+01:00

Butterfly spotted in the garden. I think it's a Painted Lady.

Apparently they are migrants. Some years they get to every part of Britain. Lots have been seen this spring, so it may be a very good year for them.

It's Raining Bin Men

2009-06-10T21:44:00.006+01:00

Sorry I haven't put anything on here for so long. There's been a terrible bin strike in Bristol and, according to the rules of Blogspot, I wasn't allowed to write anything during the crisis. Something to do with Health and Safety, I suspect.

After weeks of partial strikes, the bin men were due to go on full time strike from next week.
However, they've agreed to something or other and yesterday they called it all off.

As soon as the news broke the streets were awash with dustmen ( and dustwomen too,).
In fact , I saw so many that I suspect that some of them were not real dustmen, but impostors who get their kicks from impersonating genuine waste disposal operatives.

Not everybody was keen to go back to work and I heard that fights had broken out at one of the meetings. Dustman on dustman violence is something that I thought I'd never see during my lifetime, but Lo! It has come to pass! So that's quite good then.

Many people didn't like the bin strike but to a keen rubbish spotter like myself it gave a rare opportunity to look at piles of domestic waste.

Here are some of the results of my observations:

It's a lot of rubbish, eh?

Drainserve

2009-06-10T21:25:00.006+01:00

Drainserve, O Drainserve

You're so yellow, green and blue

A drain clearance operatives' yard

By the M32

If I had a blocked up drain
I know what I would do
I'd be picking up the telephone to make a call to you

You offer a 24 hour service
That much I know is true
It seems quite long to clear a drain
but I suppose that's up to you

With your sturdy fence and barbed wire rolls
You're stronger than a fort
And you'd certainly cause any passing burglar
To have a second thought

O Drainserve
You make my brain swerve
You touch a raw nerve
In the field of drain clearance you're ahead of the curve
As you stand so brightly painted by the M32

Pete Taylor has died

2009-05-08T10:14:00.004+01:00

The crop circle painted on the side of Pete's house

Well-known local environmental activist, Pete Taylor, died last Monday. It's thought that his emphysema or asthma, that he'd suffered with for a long time, was the cause of death.

Pete didn't fit the stereotype of an environmental campaigner; with his wizened features and strong Devonshire accent, he seemed a bit like a pirate. In fact, he did spend many years in the merchant navy, though I don't think he engaged in piracy; I wouldn't put it past him though.

In the 90s he started off the "Switch Off" campaign against idling motor engines. This campaign was taken up by Bristol city council and other councils around the country.

Pete blamed traffic pollution for his chest condition, though he did smoke as well which couldn't have helped.
I saw him in the week before he died and he was telling me that a neighbour of his who didn't smoke used to get asthma attacks at the same time as him, which coincided with periods of high pollution.

Pete was very outspoken and opinionated and not afraid to offend anyone. This didn't endear him to everybody of course, but it did achieve results in his campaigning.

One of his greatest achievements, in my opinion, was getting Greenbank Road and Robertson Road closed to motor traffic. I know there were others involved, but I suspect that Pete was a leading figure. The closing of these roads has made a great improvement to the quality of life in Greenbank and I doubt that many people would want to go back to how it was.

So farewell then, Pete. I hope there aren't any cars in Heaven and that they'll let you smoke outside the gates.

Other local tributes: http://greenlung.blogspot.com/2009/05/pete-taylor.html

http://bristolcars.blogspot.com/2009/05/pete-taylor.html

Photo of Pete and Cat on a food stall at the bottom of the M32.

Goodnight Irene

2009-05-01T09:30:00.006+01:00

Eastville Park lake

In Eastville Park there's a very active open air debating society that meets every morning to drink industrial-strength cider and declaim on issues of the day in loud and forthright tones.

On Wednesday I was passing and, in a change to the usual programme, they were engaged in community singing and were giving out a full-blooded rendition of the Leadbelly song Goodnight Irene, that gladdened the hearts of all those passing by.

It's a funny thing, but Eastville Park is on the banks of the river Frome and the other side of the river used to be the home of Bristol Rovers football club. They've since moved up the hill, but the supporters' anthem was (and probably still is) Goodnight Irene.

So that song has long been sung on the banks of the river Frome.

Does that mean anything? I don't know.

Does the river remember? Probably not.
As far as I'm aware, rivers don't have memories, but who knows?

Goodnight Irene - Wikipedia entry

Goodnight Irene - sung by Bristol Rovers fans

Goodnight Irene - by Leadbelly

Another silly joke

2009-04-28T00:01:00.003+01:00

I met a man who had suffered an industrial accident that left him unable to pronounce words beginning with 'th' or 'f'.

He'd been awarded half a million pounds in compensation.

I said: "You can't say fairer than that then, can you?"*

* a laborious, step-by-step explanation of this joke is available for Australian readers.

Silly Joke

2009-04-12T21:15:00.002+01:00

Last night I dreamt I was the author of Lord of the Rings.

I must have been Tolkien in my sleep.

Rhubarb and Marmite

2009-04-10T09:12:00.004+01:00

As you may have noticed, I haven't had very much to write about lately, so I thought I'd tell you about what I've been eating - rhubarb and marmite.

Not together of course (that would be illegal), but enough to ramble on for a few paragraphs.

I've eaten so much rhubarb lately that it's started coming out of my eyes. People think I'm crying until they lick the "tears" off the ground and find that it's rhubarb juice.

I've been trying to find out some interesting facts about rhubarb but it seems a bit humdrum. There are over 60 varieties of rhubarb, including a medicinal rhubarb, Rheum officinale, and varieties that make you grow very tall or shrink.

Rhubarb is indigenous to Asia and apparently grows in profusion along the banks of the Volga river. Where's the Volga? Well, I looked it up. It's in Russia (I did know that already) and flows through the cities of Gorki, Volgograd (formerly Stalingrad) until it reaches the Caspian Sea at Astrakhan. It's the longest river in Europe, although it seems to come out in Asia, which is probably cheating a bit.

And so to Marmite. Marmite is a black sticky substance made out of tar that's left over from road making. It's quite popular in the UK. Is it sold anywhere else? I don't know.

People either love it or hate it or are quite indifferent to it or refuse to answer Marmite-related questions.

It's sold in jars ranging from the smallest size (0.3grams), that you can hardly see to the gigantic 7 tonne version. But lately they've brought out a new-fangled squeezy jar. I gave it a try, thinking no harm would come of it, but how wrong I was.

The trouble is it's only squeezy till the container is half empty. Then you just can't get the Marmite out. You have to take the top off and it all gets very messy.

Last Wednesday I was rushed to hospital, covered in Marmite and in a confused and distressed state. It took the hospital staff several hours to eat all the Marmite off me.

The doctor said I should try to eat more sensibly in future.

Bird Poo and Lime Flowers

2009-04-06T12:43:00.005+01:00

People are always asking me why I don't include more photos of
bird poo and lime flowers on this blog.

Well, it's not that easy. While it's not too much of a problem persuading birds to poo, lime flowers just won't fall off the trees till they're ready, no matter how much you shout at them (believe me I've tried).

But at long last I've managed to capture some, so here you are.

Enjoy!

Spring

2009-03-17T16:37:00.009+01:00

It's spring!! I thought I'd better let you know.
I've been out taking photos of it.

Here's some blossom.

And here's a daisy.

I've been stalking butterflies in the local graveyard.
There's nothing wrong with that. It's better than going
around vandalising telephone boxes.

I think these two are of the same species. One male,
the other female. I think the male is the showier looking one.
But they're both very pretty.

Update: No they're not the same species. One is a Comma, and the other a Peacock.

Mistletoe

2009-03-02T00:40:00.012+01:00

Mistletoe is a parasitic plant that grows in trees. I've only ever seen it growing in the south west of England where it is very widespread. It's easy to see in the winter when the trees are bare.

In the UK mistletoe is sold at Christmas and people kiss under it. Or at least they do at the moment. The practice is due to be banned in 2010 under Health and Safety rules - and about time too.

Mistletoe was supposed to have been venerated by the druids, a priestly caste who lived in pre-Roman Britain. They may have thought it sacred because it fruits in mid-winter and never touches the ground. I've heard they cut it with a golden sickle and caught it in sheets.
I don't know how people know this because, as far as I know, the druids were all killed by the Romans in A.D. 61. They left no written records themselves and what we know of them is from Roman sources.

The Romans didn't like the druids and were determined to wipe them out. They pursued them to the Ynys Mon (Angelsey) where they massacred them and destroyed their sacred groves.
A.D. 61 was an eventful year because the revolt of the Iceni in East Anglia also kicked off then. They were led by Boudicca (a.k.a Boaedicea), the Queen of the Iceni who had been very badly treated by the Romans.

The rebels attacked and burnt down Camulodunum (modern Colchester), a Roman garrison town, still an army town to this day, Londinium (modern London) and Verulamium (St. Albans), committing terrible atrocities - according to Roman writers anyway.
They certainly did burn down St. Albans. Apparently you can still find a black layer of ash if you dig into the soil there.

After doing all that, the rebels headed north-west to confront Suetonius Paulinus, the Roman general who was busy slaughtering the druids.

The Romans were vastly outnumbered by the Britons. They sent for help to Caerleon (a garrison town in south Wales where many Roman ruins still remain), but help never came. In desperation they formed themselves into a "testudo", a tortoise formation where their shields covered their heads and fought themselves out. Once they had secured victory they didn't show any mercy and went about killing anyone who had fought against them. Archaeologists can find no trace of life in East Anglia for many years after that, which suggests wholesale ethnic cleansing.

People still call themselves druids today and meet at Stonehenge on the solstice. Among them is Bill Roach, who plays Ken Barlow in Coronation Street, a very long-running British soap opera. Ken Barlow appeared in the first episode in Nineteen Sixty something and has been in it ever since.

About ten years ago he successfully sued a newspaper that had called him boring, so I'd just like to say that I find him very interesting.

I took these photos on Ashton Court estate on the outskirts of Bristol. Here are some more photos from there.

These trees are riddled with mistletoe.

Sunset and bare trees. Photo-wise you can't go wrong.

Long Ashton parish church in the fading light.

That's all folks!

In Your Dreams

2009-02-10T09:34:00.002+01:00

Pinched from http://xkcd.com/202/

If sleep wasn't so normal it would be really weird.
And dreams even stranger.

I think we have rich and complex dream lives but just can't remember most of it.
Perhaps that's what dreaming is - living without memory. And without a body, to keep us out of trouble.
I'm interested in dream locations. Some are familiar from "real life", some familiar in dreams and some seem completely new.

I've had flying dreams when I've hung around in trees and that. It's all right if you like that sort of thing. Better than falling dreams, I suppose.

You have to be careful of falling in dreams. It's not fatal, but it is deadly and can be lethal.

Still, as they've recently proved at the CERN laboratory in Switzerland: It's a Funny Old World, Innit, Eh? EH? ? ??

Snow!

2009-02-05T13:14:00.013+01:00

Some snow has come. It's snow-tastic!

This is a good snowman.

The cemetery looked good.

Eastville Park lake was frozen.

Well, most of it.

Give us food.

The End.

Easton Community Centre Art

2009-01-18T22:24:00.005+01:00

Lost Moon

2009-01-14T20:54:00.001+01:00

I've lost the moon, the counting thing and links to other sites. If you see them please let me know.

Rhyming Slang #2

2009-01-02T10:50:00.006+01:00

Oh dear. I suppose I'm legally obliged to do this, so here goes...

Rhyming slang is supposed to have originated in the east end of London. It consists of rhyming a word with a well-known phrase or the name of a famous person or something.

This often gets shortened so the slang word bears little relationship to the original.

It's used in the UK by people who want to colour their language up in a "street-wise" way or be generally tiresome.

Mostly it's self-concious and affected speech, but some words do become common currency and their rhyming origins are forgotten. Examples I can think of are "porkies" (pork pies = lies) and another one that I can't remember.

They seem to survive better when they provide useful euphemisms such as "half inch" = pinch or "tea leaf" = thief.

If you are in the medical profession and you're thinking of practising in the east end then you may find the following guide useful.

Medical Rhyming Slang

Her Majesty the Queen = spleen

Night at the Roxy = Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy

Cheshire cheese = water on the knees

Maiden aunt = Heart transplant

Cock a doodle doo = bird flu

and so on.

Happy New Year.

Or should I say Nappy Blue Ear. No, maybe not.

Postscript.

Since I wrote the above piece I've been deluged by requests from people working in particle physics in the east end of London asking if I can provide a guide for them. So here goes -

Vital spark = quark

Big hairy spider = large Hadron collider

Tweedledee and Tweedledum = Space/time continuum*

Useless article = Higgs Boson particle

Put yer coat on = photon

Mad Hatter = dark matter

I hope this list is of some use.

*This rhyming slang was very difficult to discover and was only found by firing Cockneys at each other at velocities approaching the speed of light.

2008-12-28T11:20:00.002+01:00

Cockney Rhyming Slang

Hallo Chums!

Here's a bit of holiday diversion: The Cockney Alphabet as seen on the above website.

This isn't the same as rhyming slang - I'll write about that at the end.

It's a spoof alphabet that uses the initial letter plus the word "for" to make a well-known phrase, or at least try to.

I've removed some alternatives

The Cockney Alphabet

A for Horses
(Hay for horses)

B for Mutton
(Beef or mutton)

C for Miles
(See for miles)

D for Kate (or D fer Ential)
(Defecate or deferential)

E for Brick

( = 'eave a brick = heave a brick)

F for Lump (or F fer Vescence)

(Efferlump [creature in Winnie the Pooh?]
or Effervescence [Blimey! That's a bit William Tell = Hard to spell])

G for Police (or G for Get It)
( Gee for Police = chief of police??)

H for Consent
( = age for consent??)

I for Novello (or I for the Engine)

( = Ivor Novello or Ivor the Engine. That's a good one)

J for Nice Time (or J for Oranges)

( Jafor nice time = Did you have a nice time? and Jaffa oranges)

K for Restaurant

( = Kay for restaurant = caff or restaurant)

L for Leather

('Ell for leather = Hell for leather [go very fast]

M for Cream (or M for Sis)

( = Enva Cream - type of sherry) or emphasis

N for Lope
(envelope)

O for the Wings of a Dove (O for the Rainbow)

Song title or over the rainbow

P for Relief

( pee for relief?? No comprende)

Q for the Loos

Queue for the loos (toilets)

R for Mo

( = arfer mo = half a moment)

S for you, you can take a hike

( = as for you ...)

T for Gums (or T for Two)

Teeth or gums or tea for Two (song title)

U for Me (or U for Mism - thanks Andrew W Llewellyn)

You for me (line from above song) or euphemism

V for Espana

Viva Espana - well known song from the 70s when Spanish tourism became popular.

W for a Quid (or W for the Winnings)

( = I'll double you [double the bet] for a quid [pound].

X for Breakfast

= Eggs for breakfast

Y for Mistress

= Wife or mistress

Zee for Moiles (or Z for Wind)

See for miles (we've already had this one, plus it means using the American pronunciation of Z - so not good) Zephyr Wind - that's better.

Golly, that was a bit Edmund Burke (hard work)!

I was going to write some more, but it will have to wait till another Harry Lime (time).

Blue Lights

2008-12-13T12:40:00.003+01:00

It's Christmas again - I wish they'd tell you it was coming so it didn't catch you by surprise every time. Perhaps the shops could help by displaying Christmas merchandise or something.

Many houses have decorative lights in the windows or gardens - I thought they were going to put a stop to all that; but no, they haven't of course.
Bloody politicians, they never keep their promises.

The strange thing is that so many lights are either blue or white this year. Very cold LED lights. Christmas lights used to be red, orange and yellow to reflect the cheery glow of an open fire to brighten the bleak wintertime. So why have they all turned blue?

Does it reflect a shift in our conciousness? Have our brains all turned digital from messing about with computers and mobile phones and so on? I never use them myself but a lot of people do, including some prominent politicians and media people*.

Please send me a postcard with your answer. There'll be a £10 book token for the first correct entry selected.

I would have put some pictures of these blue lights here but a) they're not very nice and b) it's cold and dark outside and I don't want to go out.

* and a retired fishmonger of my acquaintance.

Cabot Circus

2008-11-24T09:44:00.015+01:00

A journey to Bristol's new shopping centre - alone, on foot and without a native guide.

A couple of weeks ago I set off on a mission to visit Bristol's newest shopping centre - Cabot Circus.

To get there, I followed the course of the river Frome - one of Bristol's oldest rivers.
In fact, there's only two - the Frome and the Avon and it's at their confluence that someone built a castle and that's why Bristol is where it is.

Frome means "fast running" in Anglo-Saxon and at one time the river used to provide power to at least five mills along its course. At Baptist Mills (now Junction 3 of the M32) Abraham Darby set up a brass mill using the power of the river. He eventually moved to Ironbridge, Staffs and was a key figure in starting the industrial revolution.

While our ancestors saw the river as a source of free energy, we see it as a nuisance and have covered it in concrete with a motorway. Along its margins is an urban wasteland. Not very attractive, but a good place for putting up posters like those shown.

This advertises bands such as Skiplicker and Filthy Habits ( a NunPunk band?). There used to be a band in Bristol called Maggotslayer, which I think is the best band name I've heard.

Witty graffiti. In case you don't know, these are the two robots out of Star Wars.

The river Frome makes a brief appearance. Giant Hogweed grows here. Boys use the stems as blowpipes and then die when the sap makes their throats swell up. Kingfishers have also been seen here, as have crack dealers.

At last! The inspiring sight of Cabot Circus itself.

I went through the car park. Lots of pretty lights.

They still seem to be working on it.

Good views from the roof. This is St Judes, a very poor area five minutes
walk from a shop selling T shirts for £150.

The parking bays are pretty.

A Bounty bar costs 70p!!!

Here's the shopping centre itself. I wanted to take some interesting photos, but
the whole place is just too dull.

They say that Cabot Circus isn't a shopping centre but a "retail destination". They've created shopping streets in the area around it, but they're not streets in the sense that you and I understand the term. You can't ride a bike or walk a dog in them; you certainly can't busk or preach or beg or sell the Big Issue. They've (reluctantly?) left the Quaker Meeting house there.
A couple of weeks ago the Quakers organised a meeting between the Cabot Circus bosses and the local residents to discuss the impact of the centre on people living nearby. One of the Quakers stood outside the hall giving out leaflets advertising the event. Or at least he did until the security guards confiscated them.
So there you are, a little totalitarian state right in the heart of Bristol.

One little tip I learnt there: if you get lost, put your ear to the ground and listen carefully for a few minutes - security will soon come and escort you out of the complex.

What's Posterity Ever Done For Me?

2008-11-19T23:54:00.002+01:00

Sorry, I just can't think of anything to write.

I might do something about the new shopping centre soon - that will be worth avoiding.

I was just wondering ... what will happen to all the words and images in years to come? Will they still be here after we're dead and gone? There's already lots of out of date stuff on the internet; nothing seems to get deleted.

Will people be reading these words in hundreds of years time?

If you are reading this in hundreds of years time ... well, thank you. I'm very honoured, but isn't there anything else to do in the year 3000, or whenever?

I'd have thought you'd be living on Mars or flying about in your personal rockets or something. Or maybe you're living up trees in a flooded world.

Anyway, do drop in if you discover how to travel back in time - though come to think of it, you'd probably be here by now if you could. So, I guess we're destined never to meet.

But let me extend greetings across the centuries to my fellow human beings. Or giant slugs, or whatever you've evolved into.

Er, will this do?

Billy Big Gob

2008-11-05T12:29:00.003+01:00

Sorry I haven't posted anything on here for a while.
To make up for it, here's a picture of a sweet wrapper I found in the street.

"Gob" is British slang for "mouth", in case you didn't know.

Some derivatives of it are - "gobby", meaning vocal and opinionated;

"gobbing", meaning spitting - a popular pastime in ye olde Punk Rock era;

"gobstopper", a large sweet that fills the mouth - probably what Billy Big Gobs are.

So there you are, you've learnt something by visiting this site.

Do call again.

Wall Paintings in Montpelier

2008-10-21T21:16:00.002+01:00

Wall Paintings in Montpelier

Moss on a Wall

2008-10-15T20:34:00.004+01:00

They said it couldn't be done, but I've proved them all wrong!

I've managed to take some photos of moss on a wall near my house.

To be honest, it wasn't really that difficult.

Aye,Aye. You've got to hand it to them.

2008-10-08T16:22:00.004+01:00

From painting on the side of Easton Community Centre.

Draining Board

2008-10-07T23:59:00.006+01:00

I thought you might like to look at a picture of my draining board.

Here it is. The spanner is to turn on the tap that''s broken.

Some shelves - coincidentally, these were in the kitchen too.
The objects hanging on the front of the shelves are called 'cups'.

Boring

2008-10-01T11:26:00.001+01:00

Have you noticed how boring this blog has been getting over the last few years?

Well, here's something different - I've branched out.

I've got two new blogs, one about music and the other about comedy.

In fact the links are in the side bar, there ------------->>>>>>

But for the benefit of people unable to turn their heads ten degrees to the right, I will also put them here ...

BLUE SICK MOGG
This has got music clips on. I was going to call it Music Blog, but I guessed that name would already be taken, so I swopped the first syllables. Clever, eh?

BLUE MOGG COMEDY
Various comedy clips I've been digging up from YouTube.

Have a look. I command thee.

Front Doors

2008-09-19T11:25:00.027+01:00

In Bristol people are allowed to paint their front doors whatever colour they like, within reason.
Many play safe and opt for brown or unpainted PVC white. However, some more adventurous types paint their doors with every colour of the rainbow.

If you've never heard of colours or you don't know what a rainbow is, then read on and learn ...

Green Doors

Red Doors

two examples of rare "double reds"

Blue Doors

Some rare "double blues"

Purple Doors

Yellow Doors

I photographed most of these in what we doorspotters call
an AWLOYD - Area With Lots Of Yellow Doors.

... and finally a very rare pink door.
Unfortunately it's lacking in several essential door
features such as a letterbox, knocker and, most importantly,
a lock to open and close the door.

So there you are! That's a look at doors in Bristol.

What are doors like where you live?

Perhaps you don't have doors. Perhaps you don't have houses.

Maybe you live in trees or holes in the ground.

Do write and tell.

PS. Please don't get the impression that I'm some weirdo with nothing better to do than spend ages photographing people's doors and then uploading them on the internet.
I am definitely not like that at all.

United Reform Church

2008-09-17T12:56:00.004+01:00

The United Reform Church(URC) in Greenbank, Bristol held its last service this weekend. They're moving out due to dwindling congregations and the church needing a lot of maintenance work.

I walked past as the service was going on. They were singing "What a friend we have in Jesus", and they sounded in fine voice, although the congregation was bolstered by people coming from other parts of the country.

They've been around for quite a while - 356 years it says on the poster - that means it was founded in 1652, if I've calculated right.

It hasn't been at this site since that time. It was originally sited on Castle Park. They moved to Greenbank about 100 years ago.

The building was designed by Sir Frank Wills, a scion of the tobacco family, well-known in Bristol. He was also the architect for Bristol Museum.

The church is a very distinctive building. It will be a shame if it's demolished. I think the plan is to keep the exterior and build flats inside. The adjacent hall will still be kept for activities.
So it could be worse, but I'm sorry to see it go.

Stapleton Road Station mini festival

2008-09-01T22:41:00.003+01:00

This weekend there was a small festival on Stapleton Road station.

Window Shopping

2008-08-28T09:44:00.005+01:00

This shop is Heaven on Earth in Colston Street. They sell all sorts of things you might find handy at a funeral - especially if it's yours.

On their website, the couple who run it say that the shop is the result of a mishearing - they had intended to open a coffee shop, but it ended up as a coffin shop instead. A likely story.

Ganesh the elephant god. Shown here with the traditional price tag dangling from his right arm.

Condoleezza Rice Interview

2008-08-20T23:08:00.008+01:00

As a departure from the usual stuff on here, we now have an exclusive interview with U.S. Secretary of State,
Ms Condoleezza Rice.

Here is the full text below -

SB444: Ms Rice, why did you decide to come and talk to some obscure UK blog that's only read by two people and a dog?

CR: I didn't. You're making all this up.

SB444:But aren't you sitting here with me now?

CR: I'm afraid not. You're sitting on your own typing into a computer.

SB444: Point taken, but it would be a shame if we let that spoil the interview. Can we do it anyway?

CR: OK. What's your first question?

SB444:My first question is - What are your five favourite fish?

CR: Well, let me see... I would say my five favourite fish are halibut, hake, octopuses, sharks and mackerel.

SB444: Are octopuses really fish?

CR: Maybe not. I'll choose tadpoles instead.

SB444: Ok. Next question - you trained to be a concert pianist. Who are your all time favourite piano players?

CR: The pianist out of Chas and Dave - I never know which one is which! - and Les Dawson.

SB444: Did Les Dawson ever play the piano - I thought he just used it as a vehicle for his jokes?

CR:Pianos aren't vehicles, silly. Vehicles are things like cars and vans.

SB444:Next question - What's the capital of Canada?

CR:Ottawa.

SB444: Well done! That's exactly right. A lot of people say Toronto.
So, moving on to the next question, do you like The Singing Postman?

CR:Yes, Allan Smethurst was a great inspiration to me when I was growing up in Birmingham, Alabama. I used to dream of becoming a post delivery person in East Anglia.

SB444: So what went wrong?

CR: Well, I'm not trying to make excuses, but in between being Secretary of State, playing the piano and speaking lots of languages, I just found it hard to make the time. Still, who knows, maybe one day my dream will come true.

SB444: Who is your favourite Beatle?

CR:Definitely Ringo. If only they'd let him sing a bit more they could have really made the big time.

SB444: Were you ever on the Morecambe and Wise show?

CR: I don't think so. I believe that was Glenda Jackson, or that woman who used to read the news.

SB444: Last question - do you think anyone is reading this old tosh?

CR: I wouldn't have thought so, unless they're really stuck for something to do.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and attend to great affairs of state.

SB444: Thanks for talking to us, even if you are only imaginary.

CR:My pleasure.

Next week: Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin talks about his previous career as a Butlin's Redcoat.

Radio 4 comedy

2008-08-08T23:47:00.005+01:00

Bleak Expectations
2nd Series of the Dickens spoof. Very funny, in bits.

Fordham and Lipson Crazy names, crazy guys. I heard this last night - quite funny.

Sorry - Fordham and Lipson is the wrong programme and is definitely Not Funny
Sorry for any distress caused.
The one I meant was A Week with Adam Buxton
Usual rules apply: available for seven days only.

Sprinkle Brigade

2008-08-08T23:46:00.000+01:00

Sprinkle Brigade Gallery

Clevedon Pier

2008-07-29T22:19:00.017+01:00

There's lots of pebbles on the beach.

See, I told you.

ON the pier.
It costs £1:50 to go on.

Fishermen

There''s a little cafe at the end of the pier.

Restored Victorian drinking fountain.

Moody modern sculpture on Wain Hill.

St Andrew's church. Built in the 12th century.
Right on the coast.
It's on a walk called the Poets Walk.
Coleridge and Tennyson used to live in Clevedon and often walked here.

Post boxes

2008-07-29T17:36:00.006+01:00

I'm at that stage in my life when I'm starting to take an unhealthy interest in post boxes.
The stand alone ones are called pillar boxes.

In the UK they are red and have the initials of the reigning monarch on them.

This is a Queen Victoria one. You can just about make out "VR" (Victoria Regina).

Smaller boxes are built into walls.

Although I prefer post boxes, I will look at telephone boxes in an emergency.

Clevedon has millions of pillar boxes.

One curious fact about them is that they come to life on Midsummer's Night and dance around the town.
They're mostly harmless, although one man was swallowed by a pillar box in 1993.

He was found in a sorting office three weeks later, wrapped up with string and brown paper and happily none the worse for his adventure.

Manhole covers of the world. Part 2

2008-07-24T22:47:00.005+01:00

More manhole covers from around the planet.

These were discovered in the Corn Street area of Bristol

This model is called the Stanton Warrior.
There is a local band called the Stanton Warriors.

This is a pretty one.
But why is it worn so much on one side but not the other?
Who can tell?

This looks modern, but based on Celtic designs.
The wording says "Innovative Products".

What I did on my holidays

2008-07-23T15:16:00.004+01:00

Ragwort and mullein.

For my holidays this year I went trespassing on the railways.

It's cheap unless you get caught ( £1000 fine), or worse, get squashed by a train.

There's lots of lovely wild flowers between here and St Werburgh's.

I scrumped some apples from a tree growing by the track. There's always apple trees by railway tracks because train drivers throw the cores from the window.

St Werbs church from the railway.

Mouldy Tomato

2008-07-15T21:48:00.006+01:00

I've got about a quarter of a mouldy tomato for sale, if anyone is interested.
Mostly mouldy, but some parts may still be edible.

I despatch first class post with Royal Mail from the UK.

Excellent investment opportunity.
Genuine reason for sale.

Sensible offers only. No timewasters (unless holding current valid TimeWasting Certificate)

NHS

2008-07-04T09:29:00.002+01:00

On Wednesday it was the 60th anniversary of the founding of the National Health Service in the UK.
I celebrated by being ill.

I went to the Admissions Unit at my local hospital and said,"It was me. I did it."

They asked me to describe the symptoms. I said they were a dysfunctional American cartoon family.

Gutter

2008-07-03T09:49:00.003+01:00

"We're all stars, but some of us are looking in the gutter."

Look, I know this isn't very interesting, but it's either this or lots of E's, OK?

Eee eeeee ee eee ee eee

2008-06-24T00:09:00.005+01:00

E ee eee ee Eeee Eee ee eee eeeee-eee eeee ee.
Eee ee e ee eee eeeee ee eeee eeeeeeeee ee eee.
"E ee eeee ee eeeeeee ee ee eeee?"
"Ee eee eeeeeeee ee eeeeee!"

Eee ee eeeeeeeeee eee eee eeeeeeee e!!!

Eee eee ee eee (ee e eee eeeee ee)

E

George II

2008-06-16T23:16:00.005+01:00

I found a coin from the era of George II. He reigned from 1727 to 1760.

They say that behind every old coin is a blurred sink and that's certainly true in this case.

London Town

2008-06-12T09:21:00.007+01:00

I've been to London, which is a large city in the south-east of England.

It took less than two hours to get there by train.
I'm old enough to remember the days when long distance travel meant
weeks spent sitting on a goose, so the railway is a great improvement.

In London I saw ...

A fruit stall

and a shop selling shoes*

*I think it sold bags as well.

Some Trees

2008-06-03T23:48:00.005+01:00

If you've never seen a tree before, then this is what they look like.

A wild rose flower. Sorry about the insect.
It refused to leave and, as a stranger to the area, I had no legal power to compel it.

More uninteresting photos coming soon.

Mars Landing

2008-05-26T23:27:00.003+01:00

This photo shows a place where no human eye has ever set foot.

To be honest, they're not missing much, are they?

More Garden Photos

2008-05-22T08:38:00.014+01:00

Yes, it's time for some more photos from my garden.
The interesting thing about these photos is that they are almost exactly like the ones I put up last year.

So here we go ...

The damsel fly. A regular visitor.

They come every year but only for a few days.

And this is what they get up to.

These are pretty.

Forget-me-nots. A bit blurry. Sorry.

Black Cat

2008-05-19T07:59:00.001+01:00

Lunaria

2008-05-13T16:18:00.006+01:00

Lunaria Annua. Common name: Honesty.
Called Lunaria because the seed heads turn into white, papery discs that look like the moon. These are the discs while they are green and non-papery.

Chepstow Castle

2008-05-07T22:49:00.006+01:00

I've been to Chepstow Castle and I'd like to announce it to the world.
It's very impressive. The oldest castle in Britain apparently. The Normans started building it in 1067, the year after the invasion of England. They hadn't got round to invading Wales then and the castle was to defend against the Welsh.

I didn't realise that it was so big; it goes on for miles. Like many old castles, it hasn't got a roof or any glass in the windows. Or any rooms. People didn't need such fripperies then; they were a tougher bunch altogether.

I did enjoy this excursion. I'm planning to go somewhere else later this year, so stay tuned for another exciting instalment.

From the attic

2008-05-04T15:14:00.004+01:00

Views from my roof. Sorry they're a bit slopey; I've got that sort of roof.

"Trouble in the loft is always problematic"

Radio Comedy

2008-05-03T00:48:00.001+01:00

The Secret World
Worth a listen. Only available till 6th May.

Fritillary

2008-04-24T09:20:00.002+01:00

Well, I woke up this morning
there was a fritillary* at my door
Which wasn't too surprising
as I'd planted it there
six months before.

* Or possibly a maxillary capillary papillary capillarities bacillary, according to the spellchecker.

Captain Scarlet

2008-03-28T15:28:00.004+01:00

Let us sing in praise of Captain Scarlet
A great hero of yore
The man who beat the Mysterons in 1964
He beat those bloomin' Mysterons
Though crafty they did be
And he caused their spaceships to explode
And fall into the sea

Now of all the superheroes bold
Captain Scarlet was a good 'un
He was a marvel to behold
Though his acting it was wooden
He saved the planet many times
From dark and evil things
And he moved so smooth and gracefully
You could hardly see the strings

Hymns Ancient and Stupid Vol.1

Captain Scarlet

2008-03-13T20:12:00.008+01:00

The Distant Town

Church

Trees and Wall

Bit of Wall

Bilingual Bin Bag

2008-03-10T21:12:00.003+01:00

I've been working undercover this week and managed to snap a bilingual bin bag in English and Welsh as it grazed in the garden.

Canllawiau Casglu Sbwriel

Os gwelwch yn dda...

* Rhowch eich bagiau sbwriel yn barod i'w casglu erbyn 7am ar y diwrnod casglu.
* Lapiwch bethau miniog yn ofalus.
* Gofalwch na fydd eich bag sbwriel yn rhy drwm.
* Ceisiwch wneud eich bagiau'n ddiogel rhag anifeiliaid a gwynt.

Peidiwch â gwneud y canlynol...

* Rhoi sbwriel gardd allan os nad yw yn y bagiau brown rhagdaledig. Am fwy o wybodaeth gweler Gwastraff Gerddi.
* Gadael eich bagiau ar gloddiau neu waliau etc.
* Gorlenwi'r bagiau ac achosi iddynt dorri.
* Rhoi nodwyddau neu wydr wedi torri heb ei lapio neu duniau etc. yn y sbwriel.
* Rhoi eitemau mawr neu swmpus allan i'w casglu (dros 15kg)

Sbwriel

Alley Cats

2008-03-05T18:39:00.003+01:00

Someone has painted these cats on the wall in the alley.

Tree

2008-03-02T21:46:00.000+01:00

My camera is repaired and to prove it I've taken a photo of a tree.

- by

2008-02-24T17:37:00.003+01:00

Hallo chums!
As a keen "blogger" people often ask me: "Can you write out a list of all place names ending in -by in an area bounded north to south by the rivers Humber and Welland and east to west by the river Trent and the North Sea?"

I say - Of course. But first I'd like to explain where that particular suffix came from: It was all about 600 AD, I think, when the Vikings started a-lootin' and a-plunderin' the British Isles. At first they were content with burning monasteries and so on, but after a while they took a liking to the place and started settling.

In those days immigration restrictions were much more flexible. There were no "citizenship tests" or anything. Basically, if you wanted to settle down somewhere, you just killed the people already living there.

So, anyway, in moved the Vikings. There must have been a lot of them, as Northern England got to be called the Danelaw and loads of places there still have Viking names.

Which brings us to -by, that, I think, is Danish for a small village. This suffix mostly occurs in the North, hardly ever in the South, but for some reason there are loads of them in what you could call the East Midlands. Why is that? I don't know.

One interesting thing (well, depending on how you define 'interesting'), is that there are some places ending in -bey as well. This just mean they were settled by Norwegian Vikings and not Danish ones. Not a lot of people know that, and those that do often keep it to themselves.

Anyway, on with the show:

Starting from the Humber and moving south, I've found these -

Saxby All Saints; Bonby; Worlaby; Ulceby; Ulceby Skitter; Coleby; Thealeby; Appleby; Roxby; Normanby; Fockerby(other side of the Trent, but I couldn't resist);
Brumby and Ashby (parts of Scunthorpe); Scawby; Wrawby; Barnetby le Wold; Brocklesby; Keelby; Riby; Aylesby; Laceby; Irby upon Humber; Grimsby; Bigby; Somerby; Searby; Owmby; Grasby; Clixby; Aisby; Snitterby; Atterby; North Owersby; South Owersby; Kirkby; Usselby; Osgoodby; Kingerby; Walesby; Tealby; Claxby; Normanby le Wold; Thorganby; Beelsby; Barnoldby le Beck;
Ashby cum Fenby;Grainsby; North Thoresby; Utterby; Fotherby; North Ormsby; Little Grimsby; Caenby; Normanby (another one); Saxby; Owmby(another one);

Just for a spot of light relief, at this point there are two other villages: one is called Toft next Newton and the other is Newton by Toft.

Onwards and upwards...
Kexby; Brattleby; Bransby; Saxilby; Harby; Whisby; Swinderby; Thurlby; Wickenby; Fulnetby; Wragby; Langton by Wragby; Apley; Ranby; Sotby; Legsby; Goulceby; Asterby; Scamblesby; Fullerby; West Ashby; Thimbleby; Gautby; Digby; Ashby de la Launde; Coleby; Boothby Graffoe; Navenby;

Saltfleetby St Clements; Saltfleetby All Saints; Saltfleetby St Peter; Grimoldby; Manby; Maltby le Marsh; Beesby; Saleby; Markby; Swaby; Aby; Rigsby; South Thoresby; Ulceby; Bilsby; Thurlby; Anderby; Mumby; Willoughby; Sloothby; Skendleby; Scremby; Candlesby; Orby; Gunby; Ashby by Partney; Spilsby; Irby in the Marsh; Firsby; Ketsby; South Ormsby; Driby; Sutterby; Bag Enderby; Aswardby; Ashby Puerorum; Somersby; Salmonby; Fulletby; West Ashby; Hemingby

Lusby; Asgarby; Mavis Enderby; Hundleby; Raithby; Hareby; Moorby; Miningsby; Wood Enderby; Revesby; Kirkby on Bain; Tumby.

Then, apart from the town of Coningsby, they take a break ...

only to start again with a vengeance at Sleaford, where you get -

Ewerby; Kirkby le Thorpe; Asgarby; Aswarby; Spanby; Aunsby; Aisby;Oasby; Osbournby; Kelby; Silk Willoughby; North Rauceby; Dembleby; Haceby; Braceby; Humby; Boothby Pagnell; Ingoldsby; Corby Glen; Aslackby; Dowsby; Dunsby; Hacconby;

and finally Thurlby and Carlby, before they peter out at Peterborough.

They continue inland, through Melton Mowbray and Leicester, seeming to follow the course of the river Eye. That would figure, as the Vikings were into boats.

But I won't go there. I think it's important to set yourself limits when listing all places ending in -by.

I hope this work of great scholarship will add to the sum of human knowledge and, who knows, may even help us understand how the universe was created. Perhaps.

Film Review

2008-01-30T09:30:00.000+01:00

Well, it's that time of year again. Time to write something else.

Er... I went to the pictures the other day. The film was called No Country for Old Men.They weren't going to let me in at first because I am an old man, but I managed to persuade them that it was just the title, not an audience restriction.

The cinema was full and we all sat silent and obedient while they bombarded us with adverts. The film consisted of two hours of people killing each other in a very violent manner. The seats were very uncomfortable and I found it difficult to get to sleep.

I thought some of the acting was superb, especially the dead people; you could hardly see them move at all. Although there was one guy holding a sign saying "Hallo,Mum!", which I thought was a bit unprofessional.

You'd never see Sir Laurence Olivier doing that. Though I do once recall dear old Larry getting in a birthday greeting to his cousin during the final speech of King Lear.

Er, that's it. I still haven't got my camera repaired. I have to take it to a shop in An Obscure Quarter of town, then the part will take five weeks to arrive as it has to come from Portugal - by donkey presumably. They want me to pay them too.

If you have something better to do with your life, I strongly recommend that you get on with it.

2008-01-13T15:52:00.000+01:00

Sorry I've nowt to offer but a link to another radio show - but it's a good 'un.

On The Hour is a spoof news programme. I was amazed to find that it was first broadcast in 1991. 17 years ago!! Seems like only yesterday. What's gone wrong with time? Why is it disappearing so fast? Is it a plot by calendar manufacturers just to sell more products?

Anyway, this is on Radio 7, which I don't quite understand. You have to scroll down to 11:30 pm and click Listen Again. There is an interview with someone before On The Hour comes on, so bear with it.

On The Hour

Lots of references to long gone British politicians: John Major, Douglas Hurd, etc., but many things still topical. Very funny though. Give it a click, folks.

By the way, I've been to the doctor's to ask why this blog isn't very interesting. He fell asleep while I was talking to him, so I just tiptoed out of the surgery without getting an answer. I did steal some of his pens though.

Amusing Radio Programmes

2007-12-25T22:16:00.000+01:00

These radio programmes are funny. You'll have to be quick though - they're only on for a week.

Count Arthur Strong

Humph in Wonderland

I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue

Christmas Crackers

2007-12-23T15:11:00.000+01:00

Merry Winterval

Here's a selection of cracker jokes -

On which side do chickens have the most feathers?

The outside.

What's white and goes up?

A confused snowflake.

What do you call a penguin in the Sahara.

Lost.

What sort of vegetables do plumbers fix?

Leeks.

What is black and white and noisy?

A zebra with a drum kit.

What's wrapped in grease-proof paper and swings from bell ropes?

The Lunchpack of Notre Dame.

I'll get my coat.

This Bloggerooni would like to wish a Happy Christmas to both its readers.

Something Funny

2007-12-19T11:21:00.000+01:00

This video clip is quite funny.

Armando Ianucci

Warning: contains swearing, mild garage work and moderate peril.

Henry's Hot Five

2007-12-19T11:11:00.000+01:00

Henry's Hot Five play at the Chelsea in Easton every Tuesday.

Cringe

2007-12-09T11:19:00.000+01:00

I went camping last week, but during the night three guy ropes broke and the canvas started letting in water. I think it must have been a portent.

There's a new show on telly about footballers' wives and girlfriends who get involved with the occult. It's a sort of wags to witches story.

I might landscape my garden so that it's on different levels. On second thoughts, it will only end in tiers.

Deconstructing the Durotriges. Changing my Trousers.

2007-11-29T01:15:00.000+01:00

The police have been around again, warning me to write something or face legal action. So here goes -

What I did tonight.

I've been a member of the local archaeology group for a few years, but I've never been to any of their talks.

This month the talk was "Deconstructing the Durotriges".
The Durotriges were (maybe) a tribe living in pre-Roman southern Britain in the area near present-day Dorchester. A skeleton of one of their number (maybe), dug up in the 1930's, lies in Dorchester museum with a Roman ballista still lodged in his spine. I've never deconstructed Durotriges before, so I thought I'd give it a go.

The talk was in St Matthew's church, a building I can see on a hilltop a couple of miles away. How to get there? I would have gone by bike, but it was a dark, rainy night and my bike was showing early symptoms of a puncture. So catch the bus then.

Arriving on the main road,expecting a long wait, pleasantly surprised by a bus appearing after five minutes.
Great. I get on OK, but someone behind me gets into an argument with the driver about something. Lots of shouting, swearing. The driver turns the engine off. Lots of other passengers get involved. The police arrive. Ten minutes later the situation is resolved and we get under way.

Up the hill to Kingsdown. Posh, old area. Cobbled alleys, just big enough for a cart - or a car nowadays.
Thirty greyheads in the church hall to hear about people who lived nearly two thousand years ago. Laptop and Power Point presentation. I sit near the front, cos I'm deaf, but still can't hear too good.

The lecturer has done a PhD on looking for the Durotriges and he wonders if they really existed in the way that everyone assumes they did. They were mentioned by Ptolemy in about 150 AD, though he never came this way himself. No other written reference to them until, in the 19th cent, two stones were unearthed on Hadrian's Wall bearing their name. Either they were conscripted or volunteered to go north and help build the wall.

The lecturer wanted to look for a common culture around that time that could be identified as being "Durotrigian".
He looked at the archaeological record of about half a dozen areas around Dorset to find common themes in pottery, patterns of settlement, coinage, etc., but it doesn't seem that there were any; each area had its own distinctive style.

Around Poole, the harbour was flourishing, lots of industry including the pottery that became widespread over a large area. A more civilised place - no hill forts. Around Maiden Castle, wilder, hill fort country. South Somerset is interesting. At Ham Hill there is evidence of a big battle with the Romans. The pottery disappears for a generation at the time of Boudicca. Perhaps the people of that area supported her revolt in the east and got wiped out for it. The coins of that area are remarkable. The designs are abstract and seem very modern.

Then nine o'clock came and we all left.

I went to catch the bus back home. One turned up after about five minutes.
I got on and sat in the front seat - ugh! It was all wet. My trousers were wet.

I told the driver, a young Polish guy with very little English. "There was a drunk man sit there."

How lovely. No wonder people don't use public transport.

The end.
Will this do?

Celtic Coin Index

Ducks

2007-11-28T17:42:00.000+01:00

If it wasn't for ducks, ponds would be full of bread crumbs.

Can You Write Something?

2007-11-15T11:06:00.000+01:00

Can you write something for this blog?

I can't think of anything to say. Also camera broke.

You can write something using the Comment facility.

Please Note: It doesn't have to be funny or interesting.

Radio Fun

2007-11-03T15:46:00.000+01:00

That Mitchell and Webb Sound

Very funny comedy programme.
You have to listen before November 8th or it will be gone - there'll be another one though.

Sunset on a clear, cold day

2007-10-23T19:58:00.000+01:00

The Deserted Factory

2007-10-22T20:18:00.000+01:00

Out walking, came upon a deserted factory
in the middle of nowhere.

A huge site, completely empty.
What did it make? Why was it there, miles from anywhere?

I don't know.

Nobody scotches the trailers anymore.

Climbing back through the fence,
a wild boar grunted nearby.

Forest of Dean Sculpture Trail

2007-10-18T09:07:00.000+01:00

The Forest of Dean Sculpture Trail
is mostly trees and sculptures and
stuff.

Link to something funny

2007-10-12T00:26:00.000+01:00

Attention Scum

Attention Scum2

Attention Scum3

May take a while to download. Best to watch while the world sleeps.

Barton Hill Mosaic

2007-10-09T16:17:00.000+01:00

Here are details from a mosaic on the railway bridge
at Barton Hill

This one reminds me - it's Celebrating Age Day
at the Council House, Bristol on Saturday October 27th.

Be there or be . . . well, be young, I suppose.

The Marrow

2007-10-03T21:22:00.000+01:00

Ladies and Gentlemen - The Marrow.

Not very amusing, I'm afraid.
I did ask for an amusing marrow, but this one was all they had left.

Here Come the Lobsters!

2007-09-30T14:02:00.001+01:00

At last, my lobsters have arrived!

50 centimetres long and made entirely of genuine Chinese plastic, they were ordered electronically and delivered to my house by a Polish lady in a car - just like in the song*

I've tried to keep it quiet, but news soon spreads and by yesterday evening there was pandemonium as the entire population of the parish poured onto the streets to join in the celebrations.

Church bells were ringing and fireworks exploding as people sang and danced with unbridled joy.

In fact, it got so frenzied at one point that the guards had to fire several volleys of shots into the crowd, just to calm things down a bit.

But they were back again at daybreak and as I write I can hear their chants of "Show us yer lobsters! Show us yer lobsters!"

I can't bear to let them down and I will be making another appearance on the balcony quite soon.

*" ...and she brings you plastic lobsters that came all the way from China"
from Suzanne by Leonard Cohen, 1964.

Hand

2007-09-22T09:18:00.000+01:00

In case you were wondering what I had in my hand - it's a stone that I found on the beach.

Art in Jamaica Street

2007-09-18T15:07:00.001+01:00

These pictures were painted on hoardings in
Jamaica Street.

The one below wasn't in Jamaica Street.

It was a vision that appeared to me as I did the
washing up.

I thought I'd share it with all you internet chaps.

... and who's he?

Stone Flowers

2007-09-15T09:48:00.000+01:00

This week I are been moostly making flowers and stuff out of stones.

Autumn Stuff

2007-09-11T21:07:00.000+01:00

Gardens as seen from above.

Clevedon Pier. Across the water you can see another land called America (or Wales, to be strictly accurate). The buildings on the other side are Llanwern steelworks, I think.

Tree and flower display on Clevedon sea front.

A sign in the sky. Telling me to eat hot-cross buns.

Autumn scene.

Spider related incident. I'm prepared to come forward
as a witness.

An Amusing Misunderstanding

2007-09-05T14:39:00.000+01:00

SG reports: At the Tesco metro a customer (possibly Scandinavian) asked the checkout worker (possibly Polish) for toothpicks; she then asked someone else (possibly West African) who asked someone else (possibly English) who went off in search of the product.

Moments later she returned with a tube of Tippex.

They were all very amused, apart from the poor Scandinavian woman who now has to whiten her teeth with correction fluid.

Visiting Railway Stations with Colourful Murals

2007-09-04T14:43:00.001+01:00

Do you like visiting railway stations with colourful murals?

Then why not visit Montpelier station in Bristol?

It is a railway station with a colourful mural.

Sunflowers

2007-08-27T17:27:00.000+01:00

Not very exciting.
Pretty though.