Condoleezza Rice Interview

As a departure from the usual stuff on here, we now have an exclusive interview with U.S. Secretary of State,
Ms Condoleezza Rice.






Here is the full text below -








SB444: Ms Rice, why did you decide to come and talk to some obscure UK blog that's only read by two people and a dog?

CR: I didn't. You're making all this up.

SB444:But aren't you sitting here with me now?

CR: I'm afraid not. You're sitting on your own typing into a computer.

SB444: Point taken, but it would be a shame if we let that spoil the interview. Can we do it anyway?

CR: OK. What's your first question?

SB444:My first question is - What are your five favourite fish?

CR: Well, let me see... I would say my five favourite fish are halibut, hake, octopuses, sharks and mackerel.

SB444: Are octopuses really fish?

CR: Maybe not. I'll choose tadpoles instead.

SB444: Ok. Next question - you trained to be a concert pianist. Who are your all time favourite piano players?

CR: The pianist out of Chas and Dave - I never know which one is which! - and Les Dawson.


SB444: Did Les Dawson ever play the piano - I thought he just used it as a vehicle for his jokes?

CR:Pianos aren't vehicles, silly. Vehicles are things like cars and vans.



SB444:Next question - What's the capital of Canada?

CR:Ottawa.

SB444: Well done! That's exactly right. A lot of people say Toronto.
So, moving on to the next question, do you like The Singing Postman?

CR:Yes, Allan Smethurst was a great inspiration to me when I was growing up in Birmingham, Alabama. I used to dream of becoming a post delivery person in East Anglia.

SB444: So what went wrong?

CR: Well, I'm not trying to make excuses, but in between being Secretary of State, playing the piano and speaking lots of languages, I just found it hard to make the time. Still, who knows, maybe one day my dream will come true.

SB444: Who is your favourite Beatle?

CR:Definitely Ringo. If only they'd let him sing a bit more they could have really made the big time.

SB444: Were you ever on the Morecambe and Wise show?

CR: I don't think so. I believe that was Glenda Jackson, or that woman who used to read the news.

SB444: Last question - do you think anyone is reading this old tosh?

CR: I wouldn't have thought so, unless they're really stuck for something to do.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and attend to great affairs of state.


SB444: Thanks for talking to us, even if you are only imaginary.

CR:My pleasure.

Next week: Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin talks about his previous career as a Butlin's Redcoat.