Cockney Rhyming Slang
Hallo Chums!
Here's a bit of holiday diversion: The Cockney Alphabet as seen on the above website.
This isn't the same as rhyming slang - I'll write about that at the end.
It's a spoof alphabet that uses the initial letter plus the word "for" to make a well-known phrase, or at least try to.
I've removed some alternatives
The Cockney Alphabet
A for Horses
(Hay for horses)
B for Mutton
(Beef or mutton)
C for Miles
(See for miles)
D for Kate (or D fer Ential)
(Defecate or deferential)
E for Brick
( = 'eave a brick = heave a brick)
F for Lump (or F fer Vescence)
(Efferlump [creature in Winnie the Pooh?]
or Effervescence [Blimey! That's a bit William Tell = Hard to spell])
G for Police (or G for Get It)
( Gee for Police = chief of police??)
H for Consent
( = age for consent??)
I for Novello (or I for the Engine)
( = Ivor Novello or Ivor the Engine. That's a good one)
J for Nice Time (or J for Oranges)
( Jafor nice time = Did you have a nice time? and Jaffa oranges)
K for Restaurant
( = Kay for restaurant = caff or restaurant)
L for Leather
('Ell for leather = Hell for leather [go very fast]
M for Cream (or M for Sis)
( = Enva Cream - type of sherry) or emphasis
N for Lope
(envelope)
O for the Wings of a Dove (O for the Rainbow)
Song title or over the rainbow
P for Relief
( pee for relief?? No comprende)
Q for the Loos
Queue for the loos (toilets)
R for Mo
( = arfer mo = half a moment)
S for you, you can take a hike
( = as for you ...)
T for Gums (or T for Two)
Teeth or gums or tea for Two (song title)
U for Me (or U for Mism - thanks Andrew W Llewellyn)
You for me (line from above song) or euphemism
V for Espana
Viva Espana - well known song from the 70s when Spanish tourism became popular.
W for a Quid (or W for the Winnings)
( = I'll double you [double the bet] for a quid [pound].
X for Breakfast
= Eggs for breakfast
Y for Mistress
= Wife or mistress
Zee for Moiles (or Z for Wind)
See for miles (we've already had this one, plus it means using the American pronunciation of Z - so not good) Zephyr Wind - that's better.
Golly, that was a bit Edmund Burke (hard work)!
I was going to write some more, but it will have to wait till another Harry Lime (time).
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Blue Lights
It's Christmas again - I wish they'd tell you it was coming so it didn't catch you by surprise every time. Perhaps the shops could help by displaying Christmas merchandise or something.
Many houses have decorative lights in the windows or gardens - I thought they were going to put a stop to all that; but no, they haven't of course.
Bloody politicians, they never keep their promises.
The strange thing is that so many lights are either blue or white this year. Very cold LED lights. Christmas lights used to be red, orange and yellow to reflect the cheery glow of an open fire to brighten the bleak wintertime. So why have they all turned blue?
Does it reflect a shift in our conciousness? Have our brains all turned digital from messing about with computers and mobile phones and so on? I never use them myself but a lot of people do, including some prominent politicians and media people*.
Please send me a postcard with your answer. There'll be a £10 book token for the first correct entry selected.
I would have put some pictures of these blue lights here but a) they're not very nice and b) it's cold and dark outside and I don't want to go out.
* and a retired fishmonger of my acquaintance.
Many houses have decorative lights in the windows or gardens - I thought they were going to put a stop to all that; but no, they haven't of course.
Bloody politicians, they never keep their promises.
The strange thing is that so many lights are either blue or white this year. Very cold LED lights. Christmas lights used to be red, orange and yellow to reflect the cheery glow of an open fire to brighten the bleak wintertime. So why have they all turned blue?
Does it reflect a shift in our conciousness? Have our brains all turned digital from messing about with computers and mobile phones and so on? I never use them myself but a lot of people do, including some prominent politicians and media people*.
Please send me a postcard with your answer. There'll be a £10 book token for the first correct entry selected.
I would have put some pictures of these blue lights here but a) they're not very nice and b) it's cold and dark outside and I don't want to go out.
* and a retired fishmonger of my acquaintance.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Cabot Circus
A journey to Bristol's new shopping centre - alone, on foot and without a native guide.
A couple of weeks ago I set off on a mission to visit Bristol's newest shopping centre - Cabot Circus.
To get there, I followed the course of the river Frome - one of Bristol's oldest rivers.
In fact, there's only two - the Frome and the Avon and it's at their confluence that someone built a castle and that's why Bristol is where it is.
Frome means "fast running" in Anglo-Saxon and at one time the river used to provide power to at least five mills along its course. At Baptist Mills (now Junction 3 of the M32) Abraham Darby set up a brass mill using the power of the river. He eventually moved to Ironbridge, Staffs and was a key figure in starting the industrial revolution.
While our ancestors saw the river as a source of free energy, we see it as a nuisance and have covered it in concrete with a motorway. Along its margins is an urban wasteland. Not very attractive, but a good place for putting up posters like those shown.
This advertises bands such as Skiplicker and Filthy Habits ( a NunPunk band?). There used to be a band in Bristol called Maggotslayer, which I think is the best band name I've heard.
Witty graffiti. In case you don't know, these are the two robots out of Star Wars.
The river Frome makes a brief appearance. Giant Hogweed grows here. Boys use the stems as blowpipes and then die when the sap makes their throats swell up. Kingfishers have also been seen here, as have crack dealers.
At last! The inspiring sight of Cabot Circus itself.
I went through the car park. Lots of pretty lights.
They still seem to be working on it.
Good views from the roof. This is St Judes, a very poor area five minutes
walk from a shop selling T shirts for £150.
The parking bays are pretty.
A Bounty bar costs 70p!!!
Here's the shopping centre itself. I wanted to take some interesting photos, but
the whole place is just too dull.
They say that Cabot Circus isn't a shopping centre but a "retail destination". They've created shopping streets in the area around it, but they're not streets in the sense that you and I understand the term. You can't ride a bike or walk a dog in them; you certainly can't busk or preach or beg or sell the Big Issue. They've (reluctantly?) left the Quaker Meeting house there.
A couple of weeks ago the Quakers organised a meeting between the Cabot Circus bosses and the local residents to discuss the impact of the centre on people living nearby. One of the Quakers stood outside the hall giving out leaflets advertising the event. Or at least he did until the security guards confiscated them.
So there you are, a little totalitarian state right in the heart of Bristol.
One little tip I learnt there: if you get lost, put your ear to the ground and listen carefully for a few minutes - security will soon come and escort you out of the complex.
A couple of weeks ago I set off on a mission to visit Bristol's newest shopping centre - Cabot Circus.
To get there, I followed the course of the river Frome - one of Bristol's oldest rivers.
In fact, there's only two - the Frome and the Avon and it's at their confluence that someone built a castle and that's why Bristol is where it is.
Frome means "fast running" in Anglo-Saxon and at one time the river used to provide power to at least five mills along its course. At Baptist Mills (now Junction 3 of the M32) Abraham Darby set up a brass mill using the power of the river. He eventually moved to Ironbridge, Staffs and was a key figure in starting the industrial revolution.
While our ancestors saw the river as a source of free energy, we see it as a nuisance and have covered it in concrete with a motorway. Along its margins is an urban wasteland. Not very attractive, but a good place for putting up posters like those shown.
This advertises bands such as Skiplicker and Filthy Habits ( a NunPunk band?). There used to be a band in Bristol called Maggotslayer, which I think is the best band name I've heard.
Witty graffiti. In case you don't know, these are the two robots out of Star Wars.
The river Frome makes a brief appearance. Giant Hogweed grows here. Boys use the stems as blowpipes and then die when the sap makes their throats swell up. Kingfishers have also been seen here, as have crack dealers.
At last! The inspiring sight of Cabot Circus itself.
I went through the car park. Lots of pretty lights.
They still seem to be working on it.
Good views from the roof. This is St Judes, a very poor area five minutes
walk from a shop selling T shirts for £150.
The parking bays are pretty.
A Bounty bar costs 70p!!!
Here's the shopping centre itself. I wanted to take some interesting photos, but
the whole place is just too dull.
They say that Cabot Circus isn't a shopping centre but a "retail destination". They've created shopping streets in the area around it, but they're not streets in the sense that you and I understand the term. You can't ride a bike or walk a dog in them; you certainly can't busk or preach or beg or sell the Big Issue. They've (reluctantly?) left the Quaker Meeting house there.
A couple of weeks ago the Quakers organised a meeting between the Cabot Circus bosses and the local residents to discuss the impact of the centre on people living nearby. One of the Quakers stood outside the hall giving out leaflets advertising the event. Or at least he did until the security guards confiscated them.
So there you are, a little totalitarian state right in the heart of Bristol.
One little tip I learnt there: if you get lost, put your ear to the ground and listen carefully for a few minutes - security will soon come and escort you out of the complex.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
What's Posterity Ever Done For Me?
Sorry, I just can't think of anything to write.
I might do something about the new shopping centre soon - that will be worth avoiding.
I was just wondering ... what will happen to all the words and images in years to come? Will they still be here after we're dead and gone? There's already lots of out of date stuff on the internet; nothing seems to get deleted.
Will people be reading these words in hundreds of years time?
If you are reading this in hundreds of years time ... well, thank you. I'm very honoured, but isn't there anything else to do in the year 3000, or whenever?
I'd have thought you'd be living on Mars or flying about in your personal rockets or something. Or maybe you're living up trees in a flooded world.
Anyway, do drop in if you discover how to travel back in time - though come to think of it, you'd probably be here by now if you could. So, I guess we're destined never to meet.
But let me extend greetings across the centuries to my fellow human beings. Or giant slugs, or whatever you've evolved into.
Er, will this do?
I might do something about the new shopping centre soon - that will be worth avoiding.
I was just wondering ... what will happen to all the words and images in years to come? Will they still be here after we're dead and gone? There's already lots of out of date stuff on the internet; nothing seems to get deleted.
Will people be reading these words in hundreds of years time?
If you are reading this in hundreds of years time ... well, thank you. I'm very honoured, but isn't there anything else to do in the year 3000, or whenever?
I'd have thought you'd be living on Mars or flying about in your personal rockets or something. Or maybe you're living up trees in a flooded world.
Anyway, do drop in if you discover how to travel back in time - though come to think of it, you'd probably be here by now if you could. So, I guess we're destined never to meet.
But let me extend greetings across the centuries to my fellow human beings. Or giant slugs, or whatever you've evolved into.
Er, will this do?
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Billy Big Gob
Sorry I haven't posted anything on here for a while.
To make up for it, here's a picture of a sweet wrapper I found in the street.
"Gob" is British slang for "mouth", in case you didn't know.
Some derivatives of it are - "gobby", meaning vocal and opinionated;
"gobbing", meaning spitting - a popular pastime in ye olde Punk Rock era;
"gobstopper", a large sweet that fills the mouth - probably what Billy Big Gobs are.
So there you are, you've learnt something by visiting this site.
Do call again.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Moss on a Wall
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Draining Board
I thought you might like to look at a picture of my draining board.
Here it is. The spanner is to turn on the tap that''s broken.
Some shelves - coincidentally, these were in the kitchen too.
The objects hanging on the front of the shelves are called 'cups'.
Here it is. The spanner is to turn on the tap that''s broken.
Some shelves - coincidentally, these were in the kitchen too.
The objects hanging on the front of the shelves are called 'cups'.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Boring
Have you noticed how boring this blog has been getting over the last few years?
Well, here's something different - I've branched out.
I've got two new blogs, one about music and the other about comedy.
In fact the links are in the side bar, there ------------->>>>>>
But for the benefit of people unable to turn their heads ten degrees to the right, I will also put them here ...
BLUE SICK MOGG
This has got music clips on. I was going to call it Music Blog, but I guessed that name would already be taken, so I swopped the first syllables. Clever, eh?
BLUE MOGG COMEDY
Various comedy clips I've been digging up from YouTube.
Have a look. I command thee.
Well, here's something different - I've branched out.
I've got two new blogs, one about music and the other about comedy.
In fact the links are in the side bar, there ------------->>>>>>
But for the benefit of people unable to turn their heads ten degrees to the right, I will also put them here ...
BLUE SICK MOGG
This has got music clips on. I was going to call it Music Blog, but I guessed that name would already be taken, so I swopped the first syllables. Clever, eh?
BLUE MOGG COMEDY
Various comedy clips I've been digging up from YouTube.
Have a look. I command thee.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Front Doors
In Bristol people are allowed to paint their front doors whatever colour they like, within reason.
Many play safe and opt for brown or unpainted PVC white. However, some more adventurous types paint their doors with every colour of the rainbow.
If you've never heard of colours or you don't know what a rainbow is, then read on and learn ...
Green Doors
Red Doors
two examples of rare "double reds"
Blue Doors
Some rare "double blues"
Purple Doors
Yellow Doors
I photographed most of these in what we doorspotters call
an AWLOYD - Area With Lots Of Yellow Doors.
... and finally a very rare pink door.
Unfortunately it's lacking in several essential door
features such as a letterbox, knocker and, most importantly,
a lock to open and close the door.
So there you are! That's a look at doors in Bristol.
What are doors like where you live?
Perhaps you don't have doors. Perhaps you don't have houses.
Maybe you live in trees or holes in the ground.
Do write and tell.
PS. Please don't get the impression that I'm some weirdo with nothing better to do than spend ages photographing people's doors and then uploading them on the internet.
I am definitely not like that at all.
Many play safe and opt for brown or unpainted PVC white. However, some more adventurous types paint their doors with every colour of the rainbow.
If you've never heard of colours or you don't know what a rainbow is, then read on and learn ...
Green Doors
Red Doors
two examples of rare "double reds"
Blue Doors
Some rare "double blues"
Purple Doors
Yellow Doors
I photographed most of these in what we doorspotters call
an AWLOYD - Area With Lots Of Yellow Doors.
... and finally a very rare pink door.
Unfortunately it's lacking in several essential door
features such as a letterbox, knocker and, most importantly,
a lock to open and close the door.
So there you are! That's a look at doors in Bristol.
What are doors like where you live?
Perhaps you don't have doors. Perhaps you don't have houses.
Maybe you live in trees or holes in the ground.
Do write and tell.
PS. Please don't get the impression that I'm some weirdo with nothing better to do than spend ages photographing people's doors and then uploading them on the internet.
I am definitely not like that at all.
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