Cockney Rhyming Slang




Hallo Chums!

Here's a bit of holiday diversion: The Cockney Alphabet as seen on the above website.

This isn't the same as rhyming slang - I'll write about that at the end.

It's a spoof alphabet that uses the initial letter plus the word "for" to make a well-known phrase, or at least try to.

I've removed some alternatives



The Cockney Alphabet


A for Horses
(Hay for horses)

B for Mutton
(Beef or mutton)

C for Miles
(See for miles)

D for Kate (or D fer Ential)
(Defecate or deferential)

E for Brick

( = 'eave a brick = heave a brick)

F for Lump (or F fer Vescence)

(Efferlump [creature in Winnie the Pooh?]
or Effervescence [Blimey! That's a bit William Tell = Hard to spell])

G for Police (or G for Get It)
( Gee for Police = chief of police??)

H for Consent
( = age for consent??)


I for Novello (or I for the Engine)

( = Ivor Novello or Ivor the Engine. That's a good one)

J for Nice Time (or J for Oranges)

( Jafor nice time = Did you have a nice time? and Jaffa oranges)

K for Restaurant

( = Kay for restaurant = caff or restaurant)

L for Leather

('Ell for leather = Hell for leather [go very fast]

M for Cream (or M for Sis)

( = Enva Cream - type of sherry) or emphasis

N for Lope
(envelope)

O for the Wings of a Dove (O for the Rainbow)

Song title or over the rainbow

P for Relief

( pee for relief?? No comprende)

Q for the Loos

Queue for the loos (toilets)

R for Mo

( = arfer mo = half a moment)

S for you, you can take a hike

( = as for you ...)

T for Gums (or T for Two)

Teeth or gums or tea for Two (song title)

U for Me (or U for Mism - thanks Andrew W Llewellyn)

You for me (line from above song) or euphemism

V for Espana

Viva Espana - well known song from the 70s when Spanish tourism became popular.

W for a Quid (or W for the Winnings)

( = I'll double you [double the bet] for a quid [pound].

X for Breakfast

= Eggs for breakfast

Y for Mistress

= Wife or mistress

Zee for Moiles (or Z for Wind)

See for miles (we've already had this one, plus it means using the American pronunciation of Z - so not good) Zephyr Wind - that's better.


Golly, that was a bit Edmund Burke (hard work)!

I was going to write some more, but it will have to wait till another Harry Lime (time).

Blue Lights

It's Christmas again - I wish they'd tell you it was coming so it didn't catch you by surprise every time. Perhaps the shops could help by displaying Christmas merchandise or something.

Many houses have decorative lights in the windows or gardens - I thought they were going to put a stop to all that; but no, they haven't of course.
Bloody politicians, they never keep their promises.

The strange thing is that so many lights are either blue or white this year. Very cold LED lights. Christmas lights used to be red, orange and yellow to reflect the cheery glow of an open fire to brighten the bleak wintertime. So why have they all turned blue?

Does it reflect a shift in our conciousness? Have our brains all turned digital from messing about with computers and mobile phones and so on? I never use them myself but a lot of people do, including some prominent politicians and media people*.

Please send me a postcard with your answer. There'll be a £10 book token for the first correct entry selected.

I would have put some pictures of these blue lights here but a) they're not very nice and b) it's cold and dark outside and I don't want to go out.

* and a retired fishmonger of my acquaintance.