Boycott Spar!!

I am hoping you'll join me in a boycott of my local Spar shop.

They are complete rip-offs. This week I bought a so-called " lucky dip" for the lottery and it turned out not to be lucky at all. In fact, I didn't even get one number right.*

This isn't the first time that this has happened.

I've been buying lucky dips in that shop for months and I haven't won the lottery even once.
How they have the nerve to call them "lucky dips", I don't know.
Surely it's a blatant contravention of the Trades Descriptions Act?

I have decided to boycott the shop and demand a full public inquiry into why I haven't won the lottery yet.

I will be standing outside the shop holding a protest most of the time from now on. If you're passing, please sign my petition demanding that I win a huge amount of money immediately.

When I'm rich I will make a small donation to the RSPCA; so by helping me you'll be helping little animals as well - some of them quite cute.

Thank you for all your support.

* See photo for proof that I didn't win. I know that the numbers might be hard to make out, but please believe me - I did not win the lottery last week.
I wouldn't tell fibs to all you internet people.

If you need further proof, I can get up to seventeen reliable witnesses who saw me not winning.