Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Why I'm not playing in the World Cup

I don't know why, but it always comes as a surprise to me when football teams change ends after half time.
So it's just as well that I'm not playing in the World Cup. I can imagine myself scoring an amazingly quick second half goal and then celebrating by pulling my shirt over my head or doing a robot dance or something, only to slowly realise that there was a stunned silence coming from our supporters.
It would be very embarrassing, so it's probably for the best that Sven didn't pick me as part of the squad as I would have had to say no.
Even so, I'd have appreciated being asked. I think he might be prejudiced against me because I'm getting on a bit and rather tubby.

When you think about it, he hasn't selected any old or overweight players at all. No women either. Or people of other nationalities. Not very representative of 21st century Britain, is it? Surely it's time for football to adopt a more inclusive attitude?

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Eleven professional footballers are in no way representive of England today. Ideally the team would include five-and-a-half female players, and would be made up of call centre operators, fat middle-management executives and Saturday staff from Dixons.

sb4444 said...

...and van drivers, of course.

alexhighrise said...

I thought van Drivers played for Holland